Strength isn’t a physical game, but a mental practice. And this shake-up of a year has allowed me to dig for that magnifying glass, buried underneath all the un-necessities I began to expose, stuck in my damn two-room apartment, during a pandemic.
What I discovered was that my own mind needed the biggest sorting.
I went through a breakup.
I gained weight.
I got corona virus.
I leaned into existing friendships and strengthened their depth.
I joined fitness challenges.
I investigated my lack of confidence.
I lost weight
I started to see fitness has infinitely more components than “exercising because you have to.”
I gained again, knowing healthiness weighed more.
I became curious about what I could accomplish in the gym and outside of it
which inevitably made me feel more connected with myself.
I got stronger and continue to work all kinds of muscles –
channeling this new found energy into my job, shutting my light at the end of the day ready for tomorrow.
But the most important lift was my own self-worth.
I say this because I want to. This is my platform.
I share this because the more I do “the work” on myself, the more I am open to criticism AND the potential to do more/be better. I don’t think you can strive for one without the other. Today, on the phone, I heard myself say: perfection isn’t the goal, but with truth comes security. That security is separating your worth from feelings of disappointment.
I can’t remember where I heard this: “We can’t fear disappointment. The fear of disappointment keeps us repeating the same patterns. We need to learn that disappointment is an ok place to be. Sit in it.” But it’s written on my mirror.
When you sit in it, you might find you’ve been perpetually avoiding situations for improvement.
You might actually find that you are strong enough to show up for yourself. To be disciplined. And not because “you have to” but because you want to. Because a meaningful life is better than a perceived successful one. Make yourself proud.
Ps: My apt. is cozy AF & cats are underrated. This message has been endorsed by Mary.
PSS: My next challenge is called GLOW UP & I’m here for it ✨